The Sleep Struggles I Support Parents With
Dreading the night before it has even begun
How do I get my baby to sleep through the night?
From 3pm you’re already thinking anxious with what the night ahead will bring.
Will tonight be another night of endless wakings? Will you be up feeding, rocking, cuddling, bouncing or bringing your baby into bed again? How many hours of broken sleep will you actually get?
Perhaps you’ve started going to bed anxious rather than looking forward to sleep or you are experiencing unprediatble nights and the unknown leaves you feeling on edge.
And when you’re exhausted from being needed all day, the thought of being needed all night too can feel overwhelming.
You don’t need to spend every evening bracing yourself for another broken night. You do not need to suffer another tortuous night or live in hope the phase will just pass at some stage. With the right understanding of your baby and an approach that aligns with their specific temperament and sleep needs, your whole family can be sleeping well night after night.
Waking in the night and constantly second guessing yourself
Why does my baby wake up every 1-2 hours at night?
Every wake leaves you wondering what to do next
Your baby wakes.
And suddenly your mind is racing.
Are they hungry? Are they teething? Are they too hot? Are they overtired? Do I feed them? Rock them? Pick them up? Leave them? Have I got this completely wrong? Surely they are not hungry again?
You’ve probably read so much advice that you’re now more confused than when you started.
So you respond in the way that gets everyone back to sleep — even if that means feeding, rocking, holding or co-sleeping — because at 2am, you just need the crying to stop and you will do anything to get everyone some sleep.
Over time, the constant guessing can leave you doubting yourself and wondering whether your baby’s sleep is actually normal.
You don’t need more conflicting advice. You need to understand why your baby is waking and exactly what to do when they do — with guidance that is responsive to your baby and tailored to your family.
How do I get my baby to nap without contact naps?
When sleep starts to consume your whole day
It’s not just the nights.
Your days are becoming dictated around sleep too.
Short naps. Contact naps. Walking for what feels like hours. Trying to put your baby down, only for them to wake minutes later. Planning your day around when they might sleep — and feeling trapped when they won’t.
You can’t shower when you want to. You can’t make lunch. Going out feels complicated. Even sitting down with a cup of tea can feel like a luxury.
And because you’re constantly thinking about the next nap, the next wake window and whether your baby will actually sleep, you never feel completely switched off.
Sleep shouldn’t have to take over every part of your day.
The goal isn’t simply longer naps. It’s helping you feel confident leaving the house, getting things done and having some time where you aren’t constantly thinking about your baby’s sleep.
Be able to plan your day with confidence and commit to social meet ups with friends and baby classes.
Why will my baby only settle for me?
When you’re the only person who can settle your baby
Your baby wants you.
Only you.
You’re the one who feeds them to sleep, rocks them, holds them, resettles them and gets up every time they wake.
Your partner wants to help, but your baby cries for you — and eventually it feels easier to just do it yourself.
So you carry the physical exhaustion of being the person your baby needs around the clock, while your partner can start to feel helpless because they don’t know how to help.
It can be incredibly hard to admit how much this is taking from you.
Because of course you love being there for your baby. You want to respond to them. But that doesn’t mean you want to be the only person who can get them back to sleep.
Gentle sleep support can help your baby learn new ways of settling and resettling — without taking away the responsive, nurturing relationship you’ve worked so hard to build. It can give you that freedom and flexibility to have someone else put your baby to bed of an evening. Your partner to do bedtime with confidence and you have a few hours to yourself.
“Is this normal?”
Especially when you’re a first-time parent, it can be incredibly difficult to know what to expect.
How often should your baby wake? How long should naps be? Should they be able to settle themselves? Is feeding through the night still normal? When should they move into their cot? What happens when they suddenly start waking more?
And when every baby seems to sleep differently, it’s easy to wonder whether yours is the only one struggling.
You don’t need unrealistic expectations or a rigid schedule.
Lots of sleep associations can be helpful, especially during the newborn phase but as your baby matures, they may start to outgrow these sleep associations and this is normal, but it can leave parents feeling guilty they have caused bad sleep habits.
You need someone who can help you understand what is developmentally normal, what is causing your baby’s sleep difficulties, and what you can gently change when sleep is no longer working for your family.
Because knowing what to expect can take away so much of the uncertainty — and give you the confidence to know when you need support
You’re not failing. You’re not asking for too much. And you don’t have to choose between responding to your baby and getting better sleep.